You can start over at any point in your life.
You don’t have to stay tangled up in things that you’d rather move on from.
And you don’t have to let any previous labels or even hang-ups define who you’d like to become.
You Don’t Have to Be Who You Once Were
Stuff happens to everyone.
Sometimes this stuff is good and other times it’s not so good.
When things happen to you, it can leave a mark and instead of seeing what’s right in front of you or even looking toward the future, all you see is that negative situation.
You might be living in the past of who you once were or what you did.
You might be focused on failures behind you.
Maybe one of the goals that you want to accomplish now is to get in shape.
But all you can do is keep seeing all the times in the past that you failed to follow through.
Or maybe you wanted to start a business and the idea never panned out.
Or you did start it and didn’t find the success you’d hoped to have.
Living in the past, reminiscing again and again over what happened or what could have been is a recipe for staying stuck.
The present isn’t the present if you live in the past and the future can’t be fully experienced by those who keep looking at what once was.
If you’ve been living in the past and you find yourself dwelling on what never happened or the wrong that happened to you, it’s time to let go.
You’re not in that place anymore.
Today is a brand new day.
The present day is the one that you need to focus on.
You don’t want to miss the opportunities right in front of you by being too busy looking at the ones that you missed.
Choose to be fully present in the moment that you’re in.
Leave behind everything that you were.
You get to choose the person that you’ll be today and the next day and all the way into the future.
You don’t have to drag around the ghosts of the past - whatever they may be.
And you don’t have to engage in any long drawn out performances to change who you are.
You simply decide.
You decide that today is new and so are you and that’s it.
What you want to accomplish in your life lies within your reach.
It can be yours because you do have the power to be strong.
You can handle whatever it is that you choose to accomplish.
You will learn what you need to know.
You’ll have the strength.
You’ll be able to begin and keep going until you see it through.
You do have the strength to be competitive in whatever area it is that you want to begin in.
You have the determination to succeed no matter what your track record is.
You are not obligated to hold onto any part of your past.
The minute you set yourself free from the past and its effects, that identity others may have given you or how you may have identified yourself has no bearing on your ability to accomplish your goals now.
Get Real About Your Strengths and Weaknesses
One of the most important things that you can do for yourself is to get real about what your strengths are and what your weaknesses are.
Many people don’t know how to identify their strengths or weaknesses.
You can determine what yours are by understanding that a strength is something you excel at and it’s easy for you to accomplish something when you rely on your strengths.
A weakness is something that you struggle with.
You may have a difficult time accomplishing things in an area where you’re weak.
Your success in reaching your goals could come down to knowing your strengths and improving your weaknesses.
Be honest with yourself about what these are.
No one likes to identify weaknesses but if you want to reach your goals, you’ll want to go through the process.
Otherwise, they could get in your way.
Some examples of strengths could be that you’re creative and organized.
Or you’re energetic and analytical.
Some examples of weaknesses could be that you’re fearful and impulsive.
You make emotion-based decisions rather than thinking things through.
Another weakness could be that you’re negative.
While your strengths can help you achieve great things, your weaknesses can become setbacks if you don’t know how to improve them.
One of the best ways to identify what your strengths and weaknesses are is to write down five traits you have that you feel are positive ones.
Then write down five traits of yours that you think are negative ones.
When you learn what your strengths and weaknesses are, you’ll be able to determine how and why you react the way that you do in a situation.
This will also help you to see why you make the decisions that you make - such as taking chances versus being too fearful to.
Or being passive when it’s time to take action.
It doesn’t hurt to be honest about yourself.
When you are, it’ll open the door for you to be able to learn how to improve yourself.
Knowing your strengths and weaknesses gives you a clearer picture of what it is that you need to focus on changing.
These are usually things about yourself that, if improved, will allow you to reach your goals easier and often quicker.
But understand that there’s no shame in comprehending and bragging about your strengths.
These top qualities about yourself can help you reach your goals so you’ll go far in life.
It might feel like you’re patting yourself on the back but so what.
You deserve recognition for all that’s good about you.
Talking about them just affirms them in your thoughts and helps to enhance your confidence.
Address the Mental Character of Your New Life
When you decide to leave your past life behind, you begin a new one.
Some people have a determination that the outward aspects of their lives are going to be different.
They might move to a new location, take a different job, break off a relationship or start one.
Other starts deal with things like creating a different strategy for the person you want to be.
You want to approach how you do things differently.
You want to have a new mindset, especially if the old one has been holding you down or keeping you from accomplishing what it is that you seek.
Your mental characteristics play a big role in your success in the future.
If in the past you were someone who dwelled on negative things, that had an impact in how you behaved as well as how you thought about your life.
Your mindset can be one of the biggest success tools that you have.
For example, if you’re a can’t-do person, you will accomplish little because your mind has already decided the outcome.
But if you have the mindset that you can do whatever you want to do, then you will.
Successful action begins with a thought.
When the mindset is right, there won’t be anything that you can’t do.
Just because you may have had a different mindset in the past doesn’t mean that you can’t start over in that area, too.
There’s a way to change your mindset.
Check your self-dialogue.
Speak only in positives to yourself.
Don’t give negative words or phrases any room to take root.
This is a big issue with some people and one way to change a mindset is through the use of affirmations - using words or phrases that give you encouragement and reassurance.
An example would be something like, “I am successful”.
You want to have an affirmation that addresses whatever part of your mindset needs help.
If you struggle with courage, then you would use, “I am courageous.”
If you struggle with self-worth you would use, “I am worthy.” Using affirmations teaches you to trust yourself.
It gives you back the belief that you are capable, that you are enough and that you just lost yourself somewhere along the way.
Affirmations can give you the confidence to believe in your power and your ability to reach your goals.
Affirmations can also help you have more peace and to be patient, trusting that what you want is going to happen for you.
To change your mindset, besides using affirmations, you want to remove the negative from your life.
You might have people in your life that are negative.
You have to set boundaries with them in order to protect your mindset.
Boundaries are a way of saying that you’re not putting up with something or certain behaviors.
You do this by not spending as much time with them.
Do it by realizing that you’re not responsible for fixing what’s eating at them.
You can change the subject.
You can tune out.
You can walk away.
You have to take care of your needs.
And you need positive influences in order to have a healthy mindset.
Besides creating some emotional distance between you and the negative people in your life, you’ll want to be on guard against other negativity you may be allowing in.
Don’t read negative books, don’t engage in negative conversations or read them on social media.
Don’t let magazines or news media infuse you with negative topics, division or hatred.
Focus on what is positive and good about yourself.
Fill your life with people who think positive and have a positive way of looking at the world.
Make a Plan of Action for Your New Behaviors
Creating a new bio for your life means that you need a plan of action for new behaviors.
It begins with the decision to change.
But then you need to know what to do after that.
So then you create a behavior plan.
These are the behaviors that you know you need to implement in your life in order to achieve your goals.
After you create your plan, you want to determine what it is that sets you back.
What will it take for you to return to your old behavior.
These are your known triggers.
And you can bet they will crop up.
If you don’t know how to deal with the triggers, you run the risk of falling right back into the same past behavior.
If you have someone in your life that makes you think negatively about yourself and what you have the ability to do, then you need to pre-determine your actions before you encounter this person.
Know what you’re going to say in response to anything negative.
After you know what your triggers are, then figure out what you need to replace those triggers with.
An example would be replace a negative thought with an affirmation.
Remember that change occurs by repetitive actions.
When you do a new, good thing over and over again, it replaces the habit of the old behavior.
Have a check-in system in place.
When you feel yourself slipping back into the old ways, have someone you can turn to who’ll help you.
Having a support system can help you when you feel like you’re flailing.
Keep your motivation for your new behaviors in mind.
When you understand why you’re making the change, it can make the change and sticking to it a lot easier.
Your behaviors will impact you for the good or the bad and you’ll react in a positive or a negative manner.
Your behavior can help or hurt your goals whether they’re personal or professional ones.
You need to know your personal quicksand when it comes to behaviors.
These behaviors might be things like you act stubborn so you’re not teachable.
You’re undisciplined so things get done in a haphazard manner.
Or you’re controlling so you’re not good with team-work or letting other people be who they are.
You might be someone who’s impatient so you get started on something before you’ve really thought it through.
But on the other hand, these behaviors can help you to accomplish goals.
Someone who’s stubborn doesn’t easily give up when things go wrong.
They’re more likely to push through setbacks.
That’s turning your quicksand into a strength.
Having undisciplined behavior often allows you to see things that other people miss.
These people are often more creative.
A controlling behavior can be good because it allows you to see all sides of a situation or project and people with this behavior push for excellence.
Those with impatient behavior usually jump in and get things started while others are still thinking it through.
Strategize for Your Future as If It Were a Business Plan
Change can be exciting.
It can be a momentous decision and it can fill you with hope when you see your decision begin to unfold.
But a problem occurs if you fall into the trap of thinking about the change and then not thinking about it again.
When you change your life you can’t think of it as a one and done choice.
It’s something that needs to continue to evolve in order for you to keep growing.
If you’re committed to changing your life, then you need to plan for your future in the same way that you would if it was a business plan you were trying to create.
You would begin with research just like you would for a business plan.
This is why you learn about your strengths and weaknesses.
You’re going to research yourself.
You’ll take stock of what you already have to offer for the future and what you have to learn.
Every goal has a motivation behind it.
So next in your plan, you’ll need to know exactly why you want this.
Be able to say why it matters to you.
Defining your purpose will help you to keep the goals clear in your mind.
Another part of your strategy involves looking at all the steps involved in creating the future that you want.
These are the tasks that you need to do along the way to be able to arrive at your destination.
Your future plan should be flexible.
The future is ever changing and you can’t see all the variables.
You might experience an emotional change in something like the end of a relationship or the start of one.
You might have financial changes or changes in your health or the health of a loved one.
You have to plan for alternate paths and you have to be able to tweak the plans that you have in place.
By being flexible and aware that you may have to come up with alternate paths, when problems occur, it won’t send you spiraling back into your old life.
You’ll be equipped to handle what comes up.
You have to take stock of how things are going.
Do this by seeing if your objectives are being accomplished.
You have to pay attention to what’s going on and have a system in place where you check on the status of your life.
You can perform weekly audits to see if you’re on track physically, mentally or with your behaviors that help you meet your goals.
These weekly audits will help you catch actions that could be in the way of reaching your goals.
When you realize that something isn’t going the way that it should, you can tweak it so that going forward there’s a better action or behavior in place.
These audits can help you to make adjustments but they can also help you to pause to celebrate the milestones and the successes that you’ve accomplished.
This in turn will keep your motivation high.